Pirates Bay, CA (PBC) Never let it be said that Warren Buffett doesn’t recognize a business opportunity when he sees one. Today, Buffett owned See’s Candies announced that it has inked a transformational deal with the Eli Lilly Company of Indianapolis, IN to sell the much sought after GLP-1’s in their candy stores on a trial basis. “I was getting fat eating all my favorite See’s candies,” said the 94-year-old Chairperson of Berkshire Hathaway. “My BMI (body mass index) was up to 32 and my doctor told me that if I wanted to outlast Charlie and see 100 years of age, I’d better lose some weight,” he added.
Buffett Tried Dieting but was Unsuccessful
“I tried Charlie’s diet of donuts, peanut brittle, and Diet Coke, and I avoided exercise as best I could, but my weight just kept going up. So, I substituted English Toffee for the peanut brittle but that didn’t help. Finally, I tried adding in some Dark Scotchmallows but that made it worse. My doctor said I was going to die prematurely. Here I was, 94-years-old, and I wasn’t going to see 95,” continued Buffett.
Buffett Started Using Monjaro One Year Ago
Even increasing his intake of Diet Coke failed. Buffett’s doctor then recommended that he try one of the GLP-1’s. “He gave me a script, but Medicare wouldn’t cover it. They wanted me to pay over $1000 per month. I can’t afford that. So I got her to lie and say I had heart disease. Then I could get it on my Medicare Part D plan.
Buffett Loves Medicare
“It only costs me $40 per month and Amazon ships it right to my house,” he said. “It’s great. And I have a homecare nurse who comes to my house to give me my shot every week. Even that’s covered. I love Medicare.”
Fifty Pound Weight Loss in One Year
Buffett dropped from over 250 pounds to less than 200 pounds in one year using Monjaro. “I didn’t even exercise and my hemoglobin A1C is 5.5,” exclaimed Buffett. “This stuff is great. I don’t even get hungry or anything. Occasionally I throw up but even that’s not too bad. I sort of got used to it. If it works for me, very body should try it.”
Buffett Inks the Deal over Turkey Dinner on Thanksgiving Day
Berkshire Hathaway owned See’s Candies contacted the manufacturer of Monjaro, Indianapolis based Eli Lilly Company to work out the deal. “We thought it was a natural fit,” said company spokesperson and local See’s store owner Eleanor Levy of Pirates Bay, CA. “See’s makes you gain weight and Monjaro makes you lose weight. It’s perfect. We sell both products. We get you coming and going so to speak,” she added.
Details on Packaging and Distribution Still to be Worked Out
It’s unclear whether See’s will sell the Monjaro as a separate item or whether it will be bundled into the traditional one-pound See’s Candies boxes. “It’s a little bulky but we could take out a row of candy to make it fit. Alternatively, we could package it in a canister like our Toffee-ettes. I think we could fit four in a can. That could be a month’s supply. We’d have to figure out where to attach the package insert but maybe we could cover up the nutritional information on the side of the can since it wouldn’t have any candy in it,” she thought.
Selling GLP-1’s Will be the First of Many Health Initiatives
“We really see this as the first of many health initiatives for See’s in the coming years. We can maybe bundle our Sea Salt Caramels with diuretics or perhaps put fluorides in our eponymous See sucker Lollipops. We see lots of opportunities to co-sell and co-brand health products in See’s Candies future,” said Buffett. “And I’m looking forward to age 95 without exercise!”
