Early Morning Rescue By Barrow Who Finds Her Clinging To Life
Pirates Bay, CA Lady Mary Crawley was found unarousable in her bed by Head Butler Timothy Barrow this morning and was rushed to nearby Downton Cottage Hospital. There she remains clinging to life and surrounded by by her second husband Henry Talbot and her recent suitor, the ravishing film maker, Jack Barber. Evelyn Napier, Tony Gillingham, Charles Blake, Matthew Crawley, Kemal Pamuk and Richard Carlisle were unable to attend.
Rumors Circulating About Bulemia And Anorexia
The waif thin Mary, dressed in black with a long gemstone necklace, always one to put on a good face, did little to squelch the rumors of years of anorexia at Downton Abbey. “I never saw my Lady doing anything untoward,” said Mr. Carson. “She was always a little thin but I liked that,” he remarked. Anna Bates, Lady Mary’s personal maid was distrought. “I just can’t believe this. I kept telling her to eat something, even if it was just a bite. She was so wasted. Her clothes were just falling off. We had a terrible time at the dressmaker,” she cried. “She kept saying Henry will leave her if she gained an ounce. ‘He’ll leave me, he’ll leave me, she’d say’. She was down to just six stones. I told her he’d never leave and besides there was always Mr. Barber to take his place. I’m on my way to the hospital just as soon as Tom brings the car.”
Lady Mary was resuscitated by Dr. Clarkson, master of everything medical and surgical and the only doctor at Downton Cottage Hospital. “She is resting comfortably. We will not be providing any updates,” he stated.
Downton Cottage Hospital Threatened With Closure
The hospital that was nearly closed was the subject of much talk and a well known, drawn out fight between Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham as the president of the hospital and Isobel Crawley, the Baroness Merton and chairman of the board over the merger with the Royal Yorkshire County Hospital. Recriminations aside, the spat pitted Violet Crawley’s demands that the Cottage Hospital retain its control and independence over Isobel Crawley’s assertions that it was a “run down pit with excessive deaths” needing modernization. The tiff was only settled when Cora Crawley, the Countess of Grantham, took over as hospital president in a coup d’etat while the Dowager was ill.
Lady Mary Reportedly In Intensive Care
According to unnamed sources, Lady Mary was placed in the hospital’s only intensive care unit bed. This bed was the gift of Tony Gillingham shortly after Mary broke off their fling. “She was downtrodden and it was the least I could do. I do hope it cheered her up some. She was so down,” he said. Lady Mary’s problems with food and her weight have been the subject of rumors for years as she has appeared to be microscopically thin is several recent public appearances. “I think it got worse after Henry stopped motor racing and started travelling abroad,” noted Anna Bates. “I would do her hair and she would say how lonely she was. I suggested an electrical appliance or something but the best we could come up with was a new hair dryer.”
