Pirates Bay, CA (PBC) The United States Bureau of Weights and Measures announced today that they are formally downsizing the measure ‘six inches’. “We’ve completed our review and come to the conclusion that ‘six inches’ was never really six inches”, said Jon Nathan with the Bureau. The Bureau has been studying the issue since it was first raised by Gloria Steinem, the famous feminist, in the early 1970’s. A commission was created by President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal after she raised concerns.
Men, Women, Carpenters and School Teachers Voiced Problems
David Sacks, investor and president Trump’s Cryptocurrency and AI czar from the All-In Podcast said, “Look. When I say something is six inches, it’s six inches. I don’t believe in this ‘new math’. Six is six. I don’t care what some commission says.” Meantime, Gloria Steinem was elated.
“Finally. Men have been lying to us for generations. It’s about time someone called a halt to the hoax,” she said.
“This is going to cause chaos,” said Henry Escobar head of the United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America. “Everytime I take out my…ah, ah tape measure I’m going to be confused. We always had six inches where 6″ is but now it’s going to be all messed up. I’m confused.”
Sister Vivian, Mother Superior and third grade teacher at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion also raised concerns over how this is going to be challenging for students. “Where is the new 5.01″ measurement supposed to be if it’s not at the 6″ mark on a ruler. Is it going to be between 5 and 7? Just above 5″? Closer to 7? I’m confused. And what are we supposed to do with all our old rulers. Replacing them is going to cost us a small fortune.”
Commission Says Six Inches is Really 5.01″
After exhausted study and research, the Bureau says six inches is closer to 5.01 inches. “And we were being generous at that. It is probably a lot less,” said spokesperson Nathan. “We really couldn’t find anything that was actually six inches,”. “I rest my case,” said Steinem.
