Wars Ends. Ukraine to Get Participation Trophy
US ambassador to the UN, Linda Thomas-Greenfield, President of the United Nations Security Council, announced the end of the Russian Ukrainian war today. “We’ve reviewed the situation and have discussed the situation at length with the parties involved and we have decided that the war is over.”
Catholic Church to Sell Indulgences Again. Stuns Lutherans
In a brief but stunning announcement, the Catholic Church announced today that it will restart selling indulgences after 500 years. SEC Chair Gary Gensler immediately sued the church claiming indulgences were unregistered securities.