See’s Candies Inks Monumental Deal with Lilly to Sell Weight Loss Drugs in Stores
Never let it be said that Warren Buffett doesn’t recognize a business opportunity when he sees one. Today, the Buffett owned See’s Candies announced that it has inked a transformational deal with the Eli Lilly to sell the much sought after GLP-1 weight loss drugs in their candy stores on a trial basis. This will be the first of a series of innovations aimed at turning See’s Candies into a healthy habit.
Six Inches to be Downsized
The United States Bureau of Weights and Measures announced today that they are formally downsizing the measure “six inches”. “We’ve completed our review and come to the conclusion that “six inches” was never really six inches”.
Catholic Church to Sell Indulgences Again. Stuns Lutherans
In a brief but stunning announcement, the Catholic Church announced today that it will restart selling indulgences after 500 years. SEC Chair Gary Gensler immediately sued the church claiming indulgences were unregistered securities.