Major Breakthrough in Understanding The Tequila Effect
Researchers in Pirates Bay have discovered a new alcohol in tequila. The exciting finding may explain why women’s clothing falls off after drinking tequila. The natural substance called Unfastenol is a two-carbon alcohol made by esterification of ethanol and cocaine. Scientists are still studying how this new compound works.
Hallmark Channel Discovers Black People
“Well, we didn’t really discover Black people. I mean, not Black, Black, more like brownish or mahogany color. We always knew they were around. We just didn’t use them in our signature Hallmark movies for anything other than as extras or the help,” said Mike Perry, CEO and Chairman of Hallmark, Inc.
Google Accepts Second Satirical News Site for the First Time
Reviewers at Google revealed they do understand humor, parody and satire when they reluctantly agreed to place ads on the Pirates Bay Courier website (piratesbaycourier.com). Previously, the humorless behemoth had deemed the website way “too funny and enjoyable” for humans and expressed concern that placing ads on the website might lead readers to laugh out loud.
Man Finally Finds Job
John Franklin reported today that he has been hired as first openly trans CEO and Chairman of Diablo Power, the number one nuclear energy power company in the US. Mr. Franklin previously worked as a greeter at the Walmart in Goleta, CA.